Let's talk about rejection!
Two publishers just told me no... and here's why.
Spoiler alert: a.i. is not why! lol.
In all seriousness, I often share my big wins, but it’s been a roller coaster of a year.
Building on a strong finish from 2024, I’m not sure if I was delusional or complacent, but I aimed for the stars in 2025…
I was excited about possibly writing more books and decided to submit new manuscript proposals. Respected publishers and editors I adore responded weeks later with a firm #nah. And I had to take both of those rejections on the chin.
What did I do with those balls of emotions?
Nothing - at first. I just took some time to take in the feedback. “This isn’t the right project for me right now,” one wrote. “This is a bit of a catch-22,” the other wrote. With the latter, I refused to improve the proposal unless they agreed to offer more solid assurance that they’d offer a contract for the book. So, that is the textbook definition of between a rock and a hard place.
My younger self would have responded with something snarky and eaten a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. But my more mature self went out for a fancy dessert and responded, “I understand. I hope you’re well. Let’s stay in touch,” from the dinner table.
Don’t judge me for eating my feelings.
Rejection might suck, but relationships sure can be sweet.
Instead of sulking or expressing my frustration in an email, I looked at the list of writing ideas on my whiteboard and got moving on pitching the 10 other ideas on the back-burner plans for the year. Within weeks, I’d gotten confirmation to participate in an academic conference in the Reunion Islands, France (still in Africa, woot woot).
And I locked in an art residency in New York state this summer.
(Yeah, I’m a mixed media artist too! I’m full of surprises!!!)
So did I write all this to tell you “when you fall, get back up”?
Well, sorta. But not really. I wrote all this because it’s fake news to only share the wins and never share the losses. It’s been a rough start to the year. Business is slow (that is thx to a.i.), calls for pitches are slow, and I’m finding myself very preoccupied with big, heady matters well beyond the articles I get assigned. Crazy world out there!
But it’s also great to remember that losses make space. Sure, I can reflect on ways to improve the original projects, of course. (I’ve already submitted the first book project to a different publisher, so maybe it’ll find a home sooner rather than later.)
More importantly, now that I’m not overcommitted, I have room in my schedule to book those trips to Reunion and to the U.S. to dig deeper into my craft and to build a career on quality, not quantity.
And I’m also intent on seeing this art thing through…
So if you’re struggling with rejection right now, (1) I see you. #samesame.
A helpful mantra is “Feedback about my work isn’t feedback about me. Critique of my work isn’t a critique of me.”
(2) Make sure that rejection paves the way for a remarkable comeback. Work on your craft, reflect to improve, and use every opportunity to leave a positive impression!
(3) Reinvent yourself. Maybe your medium isn’t the best way to get your point across anymore. Figure out whether your creative juices are flowing in a new direction. Follow it, rather than trying to control it. Don’t be afraid of adapting with the times.
Don’t let rejection get the best of you. Writers, if you’re looking for books to help you strike the right balance, check out The Writer’s Practice and Write for Life.
Creatives, I always love to collab and connect.
DM or comment below if you’ve got a rejection story to tell!
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